You found out. Maybe it was a text you weren’t supposed to see, a credit card statement that didn’t make sense, or a confession that came too late. However it happened, something broke. And now you’re walking around with this thing inside you that no one else can see, smiling at co-workers and making dinner and answering “I’m fine” to questions you can’t actually answer.
The hardest part isn’t the betrayal itself. It’s the isolation that follows. You can’t tell most people. The ones you do tell don’t know what to say, or they say too much, or they want you to make decisions you’re not ready to make. Stay or go. Forgive or don’t. As if it were that simple. As if you could think clearly when your nervous system is still in shock, and every song on the radio sounds like it’s about your life.
This retreat is for women who need space to fall apart before they can figure out what comes next.
Four days in Oregon wine country with two experienced coaches who won’t rush you toward forgiveness, divorce or any other destination. You’ll have room to feel what you actually feel, say what you haven’t been able to say, and begin to find your own ground again.
Not to fix your marriage. Not to end it. Just to come back to yourself.
The first thing you’ll notice is the quiet. McMinnville sits in Oregon’s Willamette Valley, surrounded by rolling hills and vineyards, far enough from your regular life that the noise in your head might finally have somewhere to go.
You’ll arrive carrying more than a suitcase. You’ll arrive carrying months of sleepless nights, obsessive thoughts, and questions that have no good answers.
We won’t ask you to tell us everything right away. We won’t ask you to tell us anything until you’re ready. The first afternoon is simply about landing. A walk through the town if you want it. A quiet dinner. The beginning of exhaling.
Susan and Sandy work as a team, which matters more than you might think. When one of them is guiding you through an exercise, the other is holding the space. When you need two different perspectives, you have them. When you need to be witnessed without being fixed, they know how to do that, too. Between them, they’ve spent decades helping women through the moments when life cracks open.
The coaching here isn’t what you might expect. There’s very little sitting across from someone, answering questions about your childhood. Instead, you’ll move through interactive exercises designed to help you access what you already know but can’t quite reach. You might write a letter you’ll never send and read it aloud to someone who can hold it. You might sit in different chairs representing different parts of yourself, the part that wants to forgive, the part that wants to scream, the part that’s terrified of being alone. You might finally say the ugly things you’ve been too ashamed to admit, and discover they don’t make you a bad person.
There will be tears. There will probably be rage. There will definitely be moments of unexpected laughter, because grief is strange that way. What there won’t be is pressure. No one will tell you what to do about your marriage. No one will suggest you’re moving too slowly or too quickly through your feelings. The only agenda is yours.
Between sessions, you’ll have time alone. Time to walk. Time to sit with a glass of wine from a local vineyard and stare at nothing. Time to nap, because betrayal is exhausting in ways that have nothing to do with sleep. The town is charming and quiet, with good restaurants and shops if you want them, and plenty of space to disappear if you don’t.
By the final day, something will have shifted. Not everything. The betrayal will still have happened. The decisions will still need to be made. But you’ll have cleared some of the static, released some of what’s been trapped inside you, and reconnected with the part of yourself that knows how to survive this.
You’ll leave with tools for the hard conversations ahead, and you’ll leave knowing there are two women in Oregon who are rooting for you.
Two coaches, one guest. Susan and Sandy work as a team, which creates a different kind of support than working with a single practitioner. One can guide while the other witnesses. One can offer perspective while the other holds space. For women processing betrayal, having two sets of eyes and two sources of wisdom means nothing gets missed.
Completely private. You’ll be the only guest at the retreat. The entire four days are designed around you, your pace, your needs, your readiness. There is no one else’s timeline to consider. No comparing your process to anyone else’s.
Interactive, embodied work. Susan and Sandy use exercises that go beyond talking. Writing, movement, and connect to different parts of yourself. This approach accesses feelings and insights that conversation alone can’t reach. You’ll process with your whole self, not just your mind.
No agenda except yours. There’s no hidden curriculum pushing you toward reconciliation or divorce. The coaches have no investment in what you decide about your marriage. Their only investment is in helping you reconnect with yourself so you can make whatever decision is right for you.
A seasoned hand for exactly this moment. Susan holds a Master’s degree in counseling and certification as a Professional Retirement Coach. Sandy is trained at the Migge Coaching Institute in Germany and brings a cross-cultural sensitivity to her work. Together, they’ve helped hundreds of women through transitions and crises. They won’t be rattled by whatever you bring.
A beautiful place to fall apart. McMinnville is wine country. Rolling hills, excellent food, a charming downtown, and the kind of quiet that lets your nervous system finally settle. This is an ideal backdrop for you to truly open up and go within.
This is a private retreat designed around your needs. The following represents a typical rhythm, but all your sessions are adjusted based on what emerges and what you’re ready for.
On one of these days there is a one hour massage at our favourite spa in town included.
Pricing:
Day 1 – Arrival
Evening Rest. Walk the town if you’d like. Let the quiet settle in.
Day 2 – Unearthing
Evening Journaling prompts provided if you want them. Otherwise, rest.
Day 3 – The Deeper Work
Evening: Rest, reflect and integrate.
Day 4 – Integration and Closing
We invite you to our table as friends & family – light lunch, water, tea, and coffee, as well as healthy snacks like fruit and nuts, are included in your booking.
We know and love the best health food places in town and during your retreat days we invite you to explore fresh, regional, mostly organic food.
We will adapt to your dietary wants and needs, whether you are vegetarian, vegan, GF or you have other wishes.
Susan Cook, MC
As a lifelong counselor and life coach, Susan embodies her craft.
Being a Professional Certified Retirement Coach and someone who is in the last chapters of her life, she understands the urgency for folks to take inventory of what’s still important to be lived.
“This is the time you have to make sure there are no regrets in order to feel fulfilled by caring for your unfinished dreams.”
She is always looking for openings where she can support others to believe in themselves.
She has always had a natural and passionate interest in what makes people “tick”– what makes each person uniquely who they are.
In her role as coach, Susan hears and senses patterns in people that both support and obstruct their self-development.
She sees her work as guiding people into their essence and authenticity; the most effective place from which to live and make decisions.
From her training with a Master’s degree in counseling and through numerous years of experience both in education and business settings, Susan can easily relate to people from a wide variety of backgrounds.
She helps her clients chip away at their own interior sculpture waiting to be revealed and shaped. Susan is a passionate “life teacher!”
Sandrina Weller, SIC
Sandrina Weller offers a unique global perspective informed by her experiences living and working across cultures.
As a bi-national citizen, Sandy brings a unique perspective to her coaching work with women.
Sandy, although a fluent English speaker, is always translating through the lens of language, culture, and meaning.
She can see that the same language speakers constantly assume meaning through what is being said, yet often miss what is being said.
Sandy uses this asset to slow down communication with her clients in profound ways so that deeper inquiry and reflection can occur.
As a Systemic Integrative Coach and Breath Work Coach, she helps participants break free from limiting patterns and uncover profound new perspectives on life.
These special coaching tools and processes help her to focus on supporting her clients to “jump the system” of their chronic thinking and behavior patterns and open a wide perspective on the bigger picture of the various systems they belong to.
Sandy’s playful, curious approach and wide-ranging life experiences make her a compassionate and inspiring guide for women navigating change. She is curious, fun, and deeply committed to the challenges and dilemmas facing women today.
Benefits
Making special memories in McMinnville!
Nestled in the heart of Willamette Valley, McMinnville was just nominated as the friendliest small town in Oregon!
With an inviting climate that’s temperate year-round, McMinnville is a great place to visit in any season. Hospitable, welcoming, and very friendly, the town is an ideal destination for a weekend getaway or a longer break to unwind, explore, and choose your own adventure.
Whether you’re in the mood to sip local wines, enjoy the Pacific Northwest scenery, or simply stroll the cozy streets of this historic Oregon college town where you can browse galleries, family-owned businesses, and unique boutiques, McMinnville offers a variety of experiences to make your visit unforgettable.
With art, culture, history, and some visiting UFOs, McMinnville is truly an out-of-this-world destination, and our Coaching to Connection workspace is right downtown on 3rd Street!
Airport transfer:
For an additional fee ($100/one way) we can pick you up at Portland International Airport. The travel time by car is between one and two hours, depending on traffic.
Accommodation:
We have countless cozy hotels or Airbnb’s here in McMinnville. If you would like our recommendations or support please reach out- we’re here to help.
Other venues:
If you prefer to meet at a different venue (i.e. at the coast) feel free to reach out to us and we’ll do our best to accommodate your preferences.
A non-refundable trip deposit of $500 USD is needed to hold your spot in the retreat.
Your final payment of is due 2 weeks before the start date of your retreat. Payments can made by Visa, Mastercard, Discover, American Express, or PayPal and include an additional 3% convenience fee. These payments are made online directly through our website.
Other payment options are “cash” payments by money order, cashier’s check, or Zelle. If you choose a cash payment option, we will provide you with our mailing address or Zelle contact information.
If you wish us to provide you with a payment plan, contact us at info@coachingtoconnection.com
All payments must be paid in full and received by our office no later than 2 weeks prior to the retreat event. We cannot make exceptions to this policy.
If cancellation occurs 120 or more days before departure, there will be no loss of your trip deposit.
Any cancellation made between 90-119 days will result in a total loss of your $500 USD trip deposit. Any cancellation received in writing from 60-89 days will result in in a loss of 50% of the trip price. Any cancellation between 59 days and the trip departure will result in a total loss of funds. We reserve the right to cancel the trip if it does not meet the trip minimum (if we do so, your trip deposit is refunded).
Trip cancellation insurance is strongly recommended if there is a possibility that you might have to cancel your trip. All cancellations and/or any refund requests must be made in writing (no calls) to info@coachingtoconnection.com before the start date of our retreat. Keep in mind that once your retreat payments become non-refundable as delineated in our cancellation policy above, there will be NO refunds, and you will need to report your cancellation to your trip cancellation insurance provider for reimbursement.
Coaching to Connection reserves the right to cancel any retreat prior to departure for any reason whatsoever, including an insufficient number of participants or logistical problems (e.g. acts of God, war, strikes, etc.), which may impede trip operations. The refund of all payments as described in the paragraph below shall release Coaching to Connection from any further liability. A trip cancellation due to insufficient numbers would normally occur at least a month prior to departure, unless acts of God, war, strikes or other events impede our departure causing large numbers of participants opt to cancel participation on the journey in the last days before departure.
Coaching to Connection must make substantial payments to suppliers (including providers of land travel) far in advance of the scheduled date on which we embark. If a trip is cancelled due to forces beyond our control (acts of God, war, labor strikes, earthquake, flooding, etc.), Coaching to Connection will promptly refund the portion of the trip cost not advanced to suppliers. Coaching to Connection will use its best efforts to recover advance payments as promptly as possible, and will refund to you the amount recovered, if any. However, Coaching to Connection does not guarantee recovery of any or all of the advance payments made, and our use of best efforts to recover these payments will not include the institution of any legal proceeding in foreign lands. This policy applies to a trip cancellation by client choice following any necessary increase in trip costs.