Robin
I learned how to begin to take care of myself and to put myself first. I learned what self-care is truly all about, and I learned that it’s OK to have made mistakes in life and that it’s all part of the picture in my journey.
When I came into this retreat, I was pretty flat and very very hard on myself. Now I am starting to look at myself in a different way.
I believe in myself more, and I have more confidence in myself than I did coming in. I will take care of myself first and put self-care right up there at the top of the list of anything else in my life, and I now understand that this is not selfish. It is necessary for me to be able to take care of my own health so that I can take care for my family. That is not a selfish thing. I didn’t know that before and I never did that before.
This retreat got me out of the hole I was in when I came here. I was at the bottom and there was nowhere else to go.
My hopes regarding this time here in McMinnville were, that this was going to help me save myself from being at the bottom for the rest of my life.
This was truly life changing. This is life-changing for me. I don’t know how to put words to it.
I think it was the time you spent and it was the way you cared for me, it was in person, together in the room with you, I felt heard and seen by you two, and I never ever really have got that. The visual part for me was very helpful and I also realize that you both relate to me, that we’re all in the same boat together. I had not been able to share these things with anybody else, and I didn’t understand many things that were going on with me in my life before I did this work with you both.
You both have a shared life experience and the way you related to me was very helpful. I think this would be helpful for many women, especially in today’s world right now, were we don’t get the support or the encouragement nor the kudos we need. We diminish ourselves and we get really hard on ourselves. You two certainly help women on their individual path and I am grateful for your support.
October 2025 – Deanna P. + A.
What did you learn, A., that made a difference for you during this retreat?
I learned that I need to soften. I learned that I must learn to let go of protection patterns that worked for me back then. They don’t do anything for my marriage now.
I learned about my trauma. I didn’t identify my trauma prior to coming here, but it is real. I am really excited to do this work now. I didn’t think that was possible at all. Thank you.
Deanna, what did you learn or what did make a difference for you?
I’ve learned so much!
The time in the day sessions opened doors to parts of myself and my relationship that had been hidden for years. Both my partner and I discovered things we never knew or had long forgotten. Susan and Sandy have a rare gift — their dynamic creates a space so safe and nurturing that you can finally let go of everything you’ve been holding in. Their gentle presence makes you feel seen, protected, and it is free of judgment.
How is this work with us different from other coaching or counselling approaches for you, A.?
First, not just having an hour, having to be outside of our home and away was really helpful for us. Having time to just being away from the world, turning off the outside world, just focusing on us, is something we couldn’t do so far. It’s so much more valuable than just being in the car, talking to a therapist for an hour.
The fact that it’s two of you guys, play off each other and work really well together is also different. So, if Susan misses something, Sandy got it and vice versa. You guys are a very good team, you made us feel really safe.
How was this work with us different from other coaching approaches for you, Deanna?
No comparison in the past 30 years of my life! You guys offer a unique perspective because for one it’s two listeners versus one, and you guys kind of have a good balance. As far as your approach, you have unique ways of bringing out different topics and issues and problems between us.
The most important thing is, that you do it in a safe place. I never felt like I wasn’t safe during our time with you. I had situations where I felt unsafe with other therapists because it felt like they used the information I’ve given them against me.
A., what do you see of value for other couples from this work?
I already think of at least three other couples who would benefit from coming here. Their marriages themselves would be just more empowered and they as individuals too. I think that the number one value that you guys teach is that it’s about ourself first.
People might think that’s lip service, but not until you really take it down to the bare bones. When it finally clicked, I found out that I have to do the work for myself and that that’s the only way my marriage has a chance. I cannot put the blame on my partner.
What do you see a value for this type of work for other couples, Deanna?
The value of this kind of coaching is so profound that it genuinely breaks my heart to think of all the couples, who never had the chance to experience it — couples who may have found healing, understanding, and love again if they’d come here first.
Is there anything else you would like other couples to know?
As a lesbian couple, it was deeply important for us to find support that truly understood the nuances of a same-sex marriage. We needed guidance that saw us for who we are — without having to explain or justify our love — and a space that felt genuinely safe, respectful, and affirming. Very LGBTQ+ Friendly
Testimonial Couples Coaching Retreat R. (wife) + J. (husband) October 2025
R., what did you learn about yourself from this experience? I learned that I have patterns that I brought with me and that started in my childhood. These patterns have followed me throughout my whole life into adulthood, and they are placing me in a victim role. So far, I haven’t been able to get out of that pattern and I’m bringing it into my marriage.
And what did you learn from the experience, J.? I knew how damaging the alcohol can be. Over the course of these three days that was forced to come to my awareness. Heading home now, I feel that it was an eye-opener for me to get objective feedback from two coaches as advocates for my well-being about my extreme use of alcohol and how damaging it is to myself and my marriage.
I also learned, what a difference it makes to R. if I ask her a question to understand what she really wants to tell me, instead of trying to overpower her and becoming authoritarian. Or that it can be helpful to take a 10- or 30-minutes break, separate, and then regroup and start the conversation over when we’re not so agitated.
R., how was the work with us different for you from other coaching or counselling experiences? In the past I talked about just bits and pieces of my past in therapy, and they never really explained how that is affecting me today. They gave me therapy like CBT therapy to try to forget that, but they didn’t really give me the tools on how I can get out of that cycle – that was different.
And there was never any planning on how I can access my needs as an individual, and how I could put those needs into play.
This process really took us through what our needs and wants are and helped us to get clear and make a plan on how to address these needs and wants, to make our lives happier and our relationship alive again.
J., how was this work with us different from other coaching our counselling experiences for you? I’ve had psychotherapy before, which was zoom psychotherapy and getting on medication. Previously we had an hour or two weekly on my laptop for an hour. Sometimes it was like repeating the same session we just had previously. That’s been about it for therapy that I’ve had.
So, this is night and day. This retreat has been interactive. I really don’t want to call it “Boot Camp”, but we created a lot of momentum during these 3 intensive days, and we both feel how we are moving forward in our relationship with each other.
R., how did this retreat meet your needs and expectations, or not? I believe it really met my expectations. My major issue in my marriage was communication. The work we did during these 3 days opened my eyes to see that’s not just an issue with communication. It’s that we both had all these things happen in our lives as children and we had all these unmet needs. We were both hurting, and as individuals we brought that into our marriage. Of course, we’re having issues in our marriage because of what happened in our past. I was able to see how we were both denying ourselves regarding what our needs are. Now we are both learning how to work together to make sure we support each other and getting those needs met. We communicate with each other a lot better from a sense of learning, listening to understand and wanting to help each other rather than thinking that I’m not getting what I need and it’s unfair and not listening. I know we still have a lot of work to do together. I feel like I have different tools now, thank you!
So J., how did this Retreat meet your needs? We did some research, looked up different possibilities including traveling around the country, before we found you guys. The pre-retreat conference call we did, made us feel comfortable signing up, and we came in with pretty high expectations. The retreat exceeded my expectations by far.
We know that this marriage is not fixed yet, we know that this is just the beginning- a launching pad. There’s still a lot of work to do, and we feel comfortable with your ongoing support to practice what we’ve learned and use the tools you gave us.
R., what do you see of value for other couples for this kind of work? The part that I see is most valuable to other couples is to help identify what your needs are as an individual, and to help your partner see that as well.
And then there’s a lot of developing of a plan for you to go together and strengthen your marriage and make sure that your needs are being met – that’s exciting!
And what do you see of value for other couples from your perspective, J.? Through spending the entire days on just us, it’s a lot of self-reflection. The format and the structure that you guys put together I think is phenomenal and makes a lot of sense and is so interactive. The questions that you’re asking are going on. We feel like we’re being listened to and that you called us out.
J., do you have any other comments from your perspective as a man? We were both reading through the website and your testimonials. Obviously, you work with more women than you do man. So, there may have been a concern on my partners side that perhaps, you would be more biased toward her as a woman. That did not turn out to be the case at all, instead your approach was very even-handed. And I was treated very fairly, and I felt glad that I had two women to work with. I think I was more comfortable with you then I would’ve been with a man in here and I hope that doesn’t sound kind of sexist. Thank you.
Any more comments, questions any additional thoughts R.? I would just say that this is a good program, because you really are limited when you’re going to a counsellor one hour a day, one time a week or every other week.
This would’ve taken us a long time to complete everything that we accomplished in three days, it would’ve taken months, if not a year. Doing this three-day schedule really expedite the process and fast track and you really get a lot done and you have the time set aside to be able to work on improving yourself in your marriage.
If that’s what you’re here for, I would just say that it’s definitely worth! I feel like we’re going home now, and we have a plan. We’ve got some next steps. You know things that we can do right away to change things in our relationship. Thank you.
Anything else J. you want to comment on?
To men who are having any hesitation or reluctance or apprehension about entering this program because it’s two women coaching and there’s not a male present-think twice about that, because it was just phenomenal! Thank you very much!
Scott and Melissa – Couples Coaching Retreat
What was the most meaningful for you from this experience, Melissa?
This Retreat, the revelations about myself and the relation to my childhood and the issues I didn’t even know I was dealing with, and how it is impacting my daily life was very important to me.
Also learning, that this is not about Scott. It’s about me. And that has been just really meaningful, and I thank you very much for that.
Scott, what was the most meaningful from the Retreat for you?
Realizing that the veil was pulled off myself, just as well as with my wife. Realizing that I also carry the things as a child, and they affect my adult life still to this day. Now I have that understanding where those feelings are coming from. Tracing it back to my childhood just really cleared my vision, and it helped me with the final pieces to figure out how to understand Melissa and myself in a more meaningful and truthful way. I always thought I was wrong and now I understand that there is no wrong at all. It was important for me to realize how much we assume that we know our partner’s feelings, and how much we see things from different perspectives- that was a big thing for me.
How did this Retreat meet your needs and expectations, Melissa?
This Retreat clearly saved our marriage! That was right why we came here. Our marriage has been saved by this retreat, and in addition, like a bonus I now have all this other knowledge about myself and how to take care for my needs and move forward with a plan that works for me. Before the Retreat I had no idea how to move forward.
How did this retreat meet your needs and expectations, Scott?
I was desperate to understand Melissa ‘s needs and what she needed from me to grow and to stay close and have a fruitful marriage. The Retreat did save our marriage because, we were at a point where we were going to go our separate ways.
We’re going to live our lives in a completely different way now! I feel fulfilled by knowing my wife’s true feelings, and where her feelings are coming from, where my feelings are coming from and the tools that you guys have given us.
How to stay on track with what we learned, and how to recognize our feelings, why we are feeling it that way, and how to use the tools that you guys gave us to use, thank you!
What do you think is of value for this type of work for other couples, Melissa?
We have so many people we want to go and share this with. So many people that we want to send to you! You can’t put a price on this Retreat! It feels like there’s like a magic wand that you are waving, honestly, it’s just “Bam!” and then it’s just all clear.
It’s just like- how could I miss this for so long?
How about you, Scott?
I do think it’s very valuable and everyone needs it!
We are excited to share what we’ve learned, because so many people walk in the fog and do not understand, why they’re feeling the way they feel. They get caught in the depression or just so many areas of trouble and pressure in their lives, and they don’t understand where that’s coming from and how to handle it.
You guys open that up and shed light on it without judgement. You were able to pull it out of us, even when we thought we weren’t ready to share it, and that was the beauty, that’s the magic wand. I think that if you come into this room, honest open and ready to learn then you will have exactly that experience. How do you put a price on that? As Melissa said, this experience is absolutely priceless!
Any other comments anything else you want to say?
Melissa: This was just so unexpected! It’s like you know, what it’s going to be if you’ve been in therapy… you know all the tricks, and the tools, and we sure had an idea, we knew we would be doing a lot of talking and exploring, but I just had no idea that it was possible to unlock my mind any further!
Scott: I didn’t know that there was so much more to be discovered about myself.
I knew I was stuck, and I thought and I knew a lot of the reasons why, but I had no idea that there was anything new. I did feel like I had it figured out although I knew there was a piece of me that was undiscovered and locked away. You guys found it, and I’m very grateful for that!
Lori and Reed – Couples Retreat October 2025
What was the most meaningful for you from this experience from this retreat, Lori?
The most meaningful experience from this Couples Retreat for me was learning about how my past life has an impact on my whole life today, and how this created some patterns, negatively as well as positively, in my relationship.
We learned to recognise those patterns and how to deal with them and how to acknowledge them with compassion in each other.
And how was that for you, Reed?
For me it was also that I had to look at my past and got the tools how to move forward from now on into the future. The approach how this was taught was very very great. Susan and Sandy’s approach is very nonjudgemental and educational.
Lori, how did this Retreat meet your needs and expectations?
This Couples Retreat definitely exceeded all of my expectations. I needed help in terms of wanting to heal my relationship with Reed and work through the previous hurts. You both gave me tools to create better patterns and a better relationship and work on better communication between the two of us and with others.
How did the Retreat meet your needs and expectations, Reed?
I got so much information going forward with my relationship and other relationships in my life in general, thank you! I have gone through so many therapy sessions, one on one, for an hour at a time, and this retreat beats that out of the water. This is way more beneficial. I mean it was intense, but I’m just glad we did it this way because we got a lot more information in a four-day period then it would’ve taken if we had gone to one hour therapy sessions. I don’t even know if we’ve ever could have gotten this information in normal therapy sessions.
What do you see of value for this type of work for other couples, Lori?
I feel like it’s a great way for all Couples to really learn and understand their partner‘s past and how their behaviours and their patterns come together. It will help everyone understand, why they do what they do, how it impacts them and their relationships, and how to implement changes in their daily life.
And what about you, Reed?
I think that everyone should go through this process. All I can say is that it was a wonderful experience and I’m so glad that we did this together.
Any more feedback, Lori?
I feel like that you and Susan have really helped me. I learned about being kind to myself and loving myself, you guys have been gifted trainers, teachers and coaches.
Anything else, Reed?
It was coaching and very therapeutic, and it was a beautiful thing to do. And the experience of you guys, I mean like Susan said the first day when met you for the meet and greet, “ I’ve heard it all…” which made me feel so secure, because I felt, how much experience she has and then getting to know you both, which has been great as well, thank you so much!